Harlem Gospel: What French Tourists are Really Looking For in America

This week I had a conversation with one of my colleagues who just returned from a vacation to New York City. I asked him what he thought.

He said: "It's amazing: You could be standing on a street, all the signs are in Chinese and all the people are Chinese. Then you cross the street and all the signs are in Italian and all the people are Italian. There are sections like this all over the city. And they don't mix! I saw a white guy get yelled at and chased out of a black neighborhood. You call the States a melting pot, but it's not. It's a Japanese lunch box!"
I told him I had never thought of it that way, but suddenly I had a craving for sushi.

Then I asked what he saw during this visit.

He replied, "You know, the usual things: Statue of Liberty, Broadway, Times Square, Harlem…."

I said, "Wait. Harlem? What did you go there for?"

"We wanted to see a mess."

"You went all the way to Harlem to see a mess." (I thought, There are plenty of messes in France. Try the sidewalk outside my apartment after the morning dog walks.)

"No no no. A mess. You know, at a church?"

"Ah. A mass. You went to church?" This was odd for me, because I have yet to meet a French person who regularly attends church, let alone on holiday.

"Well, we just wanted to see hear Gospel music. My mother-in-law had a guidebook that recommended a great church, but when we got there it was overcrowded with a bunch of other people with the same book. And we didn't go to Harlem to see white tourists. So we tried another church, but they wouldn't let us in because they were having a funeral. So we didn’t go to a mess at all, but we did hear some gospel music from the street."

"You went to Harlem just to hear Gospel music. And you weren't allowed to crash a funeral. That is weird."

"We were really looking forward to it. You know, the singing, the dancing..."
He started chair dancing and singing an unnecessary verse of When the Saints to Marching In.
" Gospel music. Just like the movies."

"Blues Brothers?" I asked hopefully.

"Huh? No, Sister Act."

Blasphemy.