CDG vs DTW

Before I launch into the details of our week in Michigan, I have one last rant (only one?) about Air France and the Charles De Gaulle airport. Let's compare the departure process:

Leaving from CDG:
1. Arrive at airport 2, preferably 3 hours before the flight
2. Wait in line to get passport checked: 5 minutes on a good day
3. Wait in line to check in: 15 minutes. The self-checkin kiosks don't work
Bonus: at the ticket counter we learned that David didn't have a seat assignment, and we had to talk to the people working at the gate.
4. Wait in line to get passport checked by French police: 30 minutes
5. Wait in line for security: 40 minutes
We learned here that anyone on an earlier flight than ours got shuffled to the shorter lines.
6. Walk to gate: 2 minutes
This has been drastically shortened due to the completion of the new terminal earlier this year. It used to entail a very long walk and a painful bus ride.
7. Arrive at gate 30 minutes before flight, just as boarding process begins. Walk quickly to the counter, where no one is to be found, but there are plenty of other employees standing nearby checking passports for a third time, and we ask one of them. Finally an annoyed woman appears behind the counter and eyes David's boarding pass. She taps into her computer and says coolly:

"You have a seat, but it's not with your wife."

Fully prepared for what she was going to say, I already had my French answer mentally practiced in my head:

"I bought these tickets 3 months ago!"

"Well," she said, jabbing at a number on the boarding pass, "256 people checked in before you did!"

"We got here 2 and a half hours ago!" David replied hotly. No AirFrance ice queen was going to make us feel like slackers. We are responsible travellers.

"And maybe I would have checked in online if your website worked!" I added.

She returned to poking at her computer while we fumed from our side of the counter. People continued to board, and David started worrying about overhead space. Finally we gave up and walked to the boarding line.

Just as we were about to turn over our passes, the woman reappeared and said "You don't want to wait? I might be able to ask someone to switch with you." And as it turned out, the guy with the seat next to mine was standing in line just in front of us. He shrugged at the proposed change - he was moving forward in the cabin, after all - and we thanked him many times. We were one of the last people to board, and I was disappointed to find that we were placed in the middle section of the plane, not the window and aisle combination I had requested when I bought the tickets. At least David still had an aisle seat, and I finished sulking when the French couple next to me desperately needed my help to order their drinks and dinner from the American flight attendant.

Leaving from DTW:
1. Arrive at airport 2 hours early
2. Wait in line to checkin: 15 minutes
I had tried to checkin online earlier in the day and learned that both of us were without seats this time. So I had been bracing myself for another fit of whining when the ticket agent calmly informed us of our seat assignments. Next to each other.

But in the middle again. I decided to give it a try and ask if she had an aisle window available. She did not, but she did have one single window behind one single aisle, and she was willing to bet we'd be able to talk one of the other passengers into switching. Dave hesitated, but she insisted that it would be fine and handed us our new tickets.

3. Wait in line for passport check: none
4. Wait in line for security: none
5. Oooh, let's have one last American lunch.
6. Tram to the other end of the terminal: 2 minutes
7. Hang around reading, people watching, chatting, and last minute bathroom breaks before boarding.

Once on the plane, I only had to finish half of my request before both passengers in our accompanying seats jumped up and offered to move (had they been women, I would have made David ask). David got his aisle, and I got my window. Everybody's happy.

Until the plane took off and two children screamed in unison all the way to Paris. But I guess you can't have everything.