World Cup, French Style

The World Cup is finally here, and while I can't claim to be a big football (soccer) fan, I love the World Cup for the same reasons why I love the Olympics: national pride, teasing colleagues around the world, and of course - television I can understand.

We support the US first, and England second, which is a bit awkward this year because they're both in the same group and are immediate adversaries. But as long as one of them makes it to the next round, we'll be happy.

I won't pretend to be a fan of the French team, for one because I hate gloating co-workers (I still haven't forgiven my French colleagues in the Auburn Hills office from the last World Cup when France made it to the final...thank goodness they lost, or else I might have resigned) and for two because they cheat.

And I mean "cheat" in two senses. In a World Cup qualifying match against Ireland, a French player tapped a ball in bounds with his hand, leading to a game-winning goal. Everyone saw it except for the referee, unfortunately.

And then a few months ago it was revealed that a handful of French players shared a minor prostitute. And you know, I'm trying not to be an uptight prude about this - because adultery is hardly shocking these days - but I am not giving these guys a break for keeping an under-aged anorexic who clearly has difficulty forming complete sentences (I know this. I've seen videos on YouTube).

Anyway, drama aside, the French had high hopes for their team. After all, they nearly won The Cup in 2006. Although I am reminded of the drama in that game as well - remember the Zidane head butt?

This year the conflict was off the field and within the team. During the France vs. Mexico match, one of the players slung a bunch of insults at their coach (who, by the way, is universally hated. He must live abroad or in disguise). The Football Federation promptly kicked the player out of the tournament, which of course the rest of the team didn't appreciate. So they did the only French thing to do - they went on strike.

Football players on strike! During the World Cup! This beats all. The players refused to practice before their match, and television cameras caught a heated argument between a trainer and the team captain. Quel drama!

So the players didn't practice, and the coach took his own revenge by changing five or six players out of the day's match. Needless to say, the French team lost. 1-2 against South Africa, whom I am told they have no business losing to.

I might not like the French football team, but I do like my French friends, so I couldn't help but feel a little gloomy for them when it was quite obvious with this loss that they were not going to proceed to the next round. Last night's news showed extensive coverage of the team trudging to their plane with their tails between their legs.

I'll feel bad for the French for a little while longer, at least until the US team advances to the next round. I promise I won't gloat.

Update: I wrote the above two or three weeks ago, don't know why I didn't post it, but there have been developments.

1. President Sarkozy delayed a meeting with French labor unions to give his full attention to this atrocity of a football team.

2. The wildly unpopular coach finally quit. Or he was ousted, I don't know.

3. The French football team's World Cup bonus was retracted and given to disaster relief victims in the south of France and children's soccer programs. Wow, well played, France.